By Julia Dahl, Ministry Graduate Student
The phone rings
Can you come to dinner?
yes.
Your email dings.
Can you do that for me?
yes.
Your watch pings.
Can you be there?
yes.
Each yes is another hour less of sleep.
Be there for others; you don’t have time to count sheep.
Each yes is an affirmation that people need you.
It feels good to be needed by your crew.
Each yes is turning your face away from self care
There will be time later; there are people in despair.
The phone rings
Can you come to lunch?
yes.
Your email dings.
Can you help me with this project?
yes.
Your watch pings.
Can you come sit with me?
yes.
Your body is crying out to you.
The large cup of coffee is no longer getting you through.
You pick up your phone to ignore the obvious
This only opens you to more of a needy audience
The phone rings.
Can you come right now?
yes.
Your email dings.
Can you tell me what to write?
yes.
Your watch pings.
Can you talk through this with me?
yes.
You barely recognize yourself anymore
and what for?
Because our society flashes busyness like it’s a trophy?
Because to be needed by others means you’re holy?
When we say yes out of nothing but obligation
It redirects us to an unwarranted destination.
When we say yes constantly out of a desire to feel needed
it will never make us feel fulfilled or completed
I cried because my apple watch was stolen this week,
but the missing watch on my left wrist gave room for me to hear God speak.
The phone rings.
Can you run an errand with me?
yes.
Your email dings.
Can you do this extra thing for me?
yes.
silence. My watch wasn’t there.
That one less ping made me more aware
What if… what if our busyness wasn’t the award
What if boundaries were our sword.
What if we modeled after the way Jesus spent time alone
and became more familiar with the do not disturb button on our phone?
Do not disturb is on and there is silence.
You are able to hear the Lord’s guidance.
There’s no ring.
There’s no ding.
There’s no ping.
What about the people you were there for?
Your voice is silent; now they can hear Jesus’ knock on their door.
When I accepted my call to ministry, I immediately began looking for opportunities to grow and serve. I felt that the more opportunities I had, the better prepared I would be. My freshman year at Indiana Wesleyan University, I began reaching out to local churches as well as local ministries to volunteer or get involved. I was excited for them to accept me as a volunteer, but I had no idea that I would get so many opportunities. I thought that since they were offered to me, I had to take them. I worked at this youth group. I volunteered at another youth group forty minutes away during the week. I explored the option of a ministry called Young Life. I looked into being a mentor for a student in the local elementary school in Marion. I saw all of these opportunities as chances to grow. The opportunities chose me right? I had to say yes.
The following months were tough. Each yes I gave meant less sleep. Each yes I gave made my relationships suffer. Worst of all, each yes I gave robbed my time with God. That was the part that was the most embarrassing to admit. Ironically, each yes I gave for more growth actually stunted my growth more. I had spread myself thin. I was doing the bare minimum in each opportunity that I had said yes to. I was not only hurting myself but also the people I said yes to. If I had said no, someone who could give their one hundred percent could have been serving.
As I mentioned earlier, each yes meant less time with God. If you are not spending time with God, how well do you think your ministry is going? I will answer from experience.
Not well.
Burn out came knocking on my door. I wish I could tell you that I figured out my problems were rooted in my inability to say no or rather my inability to see that no was an option that year. Instead, I did not figure it out until the end of my sophomore year in college. I came to a breaking point and an intense time in prayer that was long overdue led me to realize that my no was just as important to my ministry as my yes. God revealed to me that that is what discernment means.
Discernment only comes when we spend time with God. When I don’t, I realize that my motives for decisions become skewed. Instead of having to open the door to burn out staring you in the face or losing your watch to realize you are terrible at saying no, I hope you can learn from my experience.
First, you must check your motives. Oftentimes, I would say yes out of what I felt was obligation or even more embarrassing to admit--people pleasing. When God blesses you with an opportunity to serve in any ministry, do so to glorify Him instead of yourself. That is a lesson I am still working on.
Second, choose one or two opportunities to serve here. Once you find those, RUN WITH THEM. Serve with your whole heart and give it your all. You will bless that ministry far more than if you are an inconsistent volunteer that gives ten percent due to overcommitment. Find opportunities to serve at some capacity though. My serving experiences are one of the instruments God used to grow me the most.
Third, find accountability. When I accepted my call to ministry, I found that it was easy to fall into the trap of the mindset that I needed to save people. I had to say yes, because if I didn’t, who would save them? That, my friends, is a dangerous place to be. Pride cooked up those thoughts even though I had good intentions. It is important to remember that we are working for His Kingdom rather than our own. He is working through us. If we were all working through our own strength and capabilities, we would all be in trouble. Accountability is crucial because it reminds you of your need for Christ and that He is our Savior.
Fourth and finally, I have to remind myself as someone who is terrible at making a decision, that God is capable of working in all decisions I make. I often get caught up in the fear of making the wrong decision. God will either make clear where He wants you to serve or He will present you with opportunities where you can choose. Choices are blessings.
As a ministry student, and ministry leader, you are blessed with so many opportunities to serve. Say yes to serving, but remember to say no, too. Make a prayerful and intentional choice rather than choices choosing you. Pray for discernment and serve with your whole heart.
